Yom Kippur

I’m not sure where to begin to describe my Yom Kippur experience. I was going to wait until later this week and write about the Tiyul (hike) we’re going on tomorrow in the same post, but Yom Kippur deserves it’s own. Plus, I’d write way too much later if I waited. I guess I’ll give you the highlights first (I think “highlights” is my favorite word in these posts), and then I’ll tell you how each of the parts inspired me, and probably add some details along the way. I do have to warn you that it’s probably hard to understand without being there. I barely understand. So I may seem a little insane – but that’s the price of publicizing your thoughts where anyone can read them, I guess.

Here’s a sketch: the fast felt supernaturally easy, I prayed for eleven hours straight and barely noticed, we sang all day long, and my eyes may have watered at the end (but don’t tell anyone who doesn’t have the web link)!

Sunday night went by really quickly, possibly because there was only one prayer. I did choose to stay for a class afterward, on the Book of Jonah. It was actually enlightening, which is surprising considering that every single year I’ve learned about why we read that book on Yom Kippur. If anyone’s interested in what I learned, it’s not so hard to explain, but it puts the events of the story in a new light. So let me know. I went to sleep around 10:30, and woke up at 7:15. By 7:30 I was in the synagogue. I should explain what that was like. We rented an auditorium of a nearby Yeshiva because Yom Kippur with HaRova is so inspiring that alumni come back years later with their families to experience it again and again. So on top of the 115 girls in the program this year, we had 70 alumni and 10 teachers, plus about 15 men (Rabbis and husbands of the alumni). It was so interesting to have a mostly all-girls prayer service. There’s something about 200 women’s voices singing out that feels so holy and serene.

There are four different prayers on Yom Kippur, morning prayer, “additional” prayer, afternoon prayer, and closing prayer. Each prayer has similarities, so throughout the day we all became familiar with different tunes that repeated. Some of them felt so meaningful – the words took on new truth when people were singing their hearts out. (Favorites were “G-d, hear our voice”, “in the time of the temple, the high priest was glorious…”, and “return us, G-d, and we will return to you; I still have the melodies ringing in my head.) Anyway, I prayed all day, sitting next to one of my roommates, Karen, from 7:30 am until 6:30 pm, but really it just felt like a single day devoted to self reflection. I was surrounded by other inspired people, and yet it was also just me, myself, and G-d. Of course I felt hungry at times, but there was this supernatural feeling of overcoming physical needs for a day, in almost every way, that being able to spend a day praying and not eating or sleeping or drinking or even using chapstick (that may have been the hardest), that added to my inspiration. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t do it more often than I have to, but it was really special just for that one day.

The Rabbi who lead the final service – during which one pictures the gates of heaven wide open for prayer – wasn’t as big into the tunes as the other cantors had been, but every word he said in Hebrew was spoken with such meaning it might as well have been in English. He got so worked up as we repeated the Attributes of G-d over and over that he actually started sobbing. I’m sure it sounds over the top, but it was so inspiring. When the stars came out and the fast was over, we barely even noticed – in fact we continued singing for a good fifteen minutes past when we could eat, unwilling to return to the real world. But eventually we did, and I went almost immediately to sleep. As for lasting effects of the day, I can’t really tell. I definitely feel more appreciative of the mundane and the spiritual, but it’s an innermost development that I don’t completely understand (and if I did, it probably would be unexplainable). I’d be happy to go into more detail about any part of my experience – just let me know if you’re curious.

As I am still in the real world, I desperately need to pack for the two day hike/trip/tour we’re embarking on early tomorrow morning, so I’ll sign off with this: Yom Kippur affirmed to me that this is the right place for me to be for this year, and I hope I’m successful in conveying my excitement and inspiration to you. Until next time (post scuba-diving and hiking)!

Gabriella

Appreciating Friends and Anticipating the Fast

  This week felt like it consisted of a lot of different aspects of being here all wrapped into one.  On the one hand, it was an intense learning week, what with everyone trying to better themselves before Yom Kippur.  On the other hand, everyone was trying to rest up and not drive themselves too hard so as to be prepared and able to pray and fast on Yom Kippur.  A somewhat strange dichotomy, if you ask me, though it was nice to regain some balance between working hard and relaxing.

   The one thing that stands out in my mind from this week is bonding with the girls in my program.  Before I get to that, and tell you about Shabbat, I’ll just tell you brief highlights of the week.  In drama class, we went through some prayers on Yom Kippur and acted them out as if we were G-d.  For example, there’s a very powerful prayer about how we are the clay and G-d is the molder, we are the stone and G-d is the cutter, we are the glass and G-d is the blower, etc.  It was inspiring to envision G-d as such a tangibly powerful being.  Then, as we are still waiting to hear results for who got into the inter-seminary choir, instead of volunteering, my choir leaders and I were given time to arrange the songs we’ll be singing for the competition in January.  It’s frustrating to me to have to cater to the preferences of the judges of the event and to have to stick to the themes they give us, but as long as I get to sing I’m happy.  Speaking of which, I gave a few unintentional mini-concerts by the piano this week, when I was playing and people would just walk in to listen.  It was fun to play requests, and flattering to have people drawn to the music from down the hall.

  So this Shabbat was not extremely eventful.  However, it was the biggest opportunity we’ve had so far to put aside friends from home, and the long days of learning, and just get to know each other better.  We already know who we connect to somewhat, so it was nice to sit and talk with the people I'm interested in.  I spent most of Friday night with a girl from Minnesota, who also loves singing and is very open minded, though she was raised ultra-orthodox.  Then on Saturday, I briefly talked to a girl from Canada and a girl from Baltimore, and then went on a beautiful walk with a girl from Boston (who I actually went to camp with in 9^th grade – she was Naala and I was Simba!) and a girl from LA (who appears to be coming to Brandeis next year! It’s a small world).  I’m beginning to appreciate the company of the girls here. I also realized what it is that makes the dynamic here so manageable: we all seem to have similar ideals and similar goals (and if not, we’re very open minded about others’ opinions), but we all have very different personalities and hobbies, so spending time with each other is always exciting.  They did a great job picking an interesting yet compatible mix of students.

  Now we’re headed into Yom Kippur, which is said to be one of the highlights of the year here.  Girls from HaRova come back for years to come to the Yom Kippur service.  This year, 70 alumni are coming, many of the teachers are coming, and we have a completely full auditorium at our disposal.  Part of what makes the service so intense is that at HaRova they do non-stop prayer and discussion.  So it really does feel like an entire day dedicated to atonement and self-reflection.  I’m anticipating a challenge, as well as an unforgettable experience.  Hopefully it will go as well as expected, but I know I will miss everyone at home.  Have an easy and meaningful Yom Kippur!

New Challenges, New Thoughts, and the New Year

Hello, everyone!  Shana Tova!  I hope everyone's New Year was enjoyable and meaningful.

Things are definitely calming down here and I'm getting used to the routine.  Nevertheless, I do have some updates and adventures to share.  Last week proved to be a challenging one.  It seems that my two weeks of effortless effort were only temporary.  That is, I pushed myself in learning and in socializing for two weeks, thinking that I was already acclimated, and then I ran out of steam.  So I had to make it through the week even though I was tired all of the time, and my mood was not ideal.  But, of course, I wasn't the only one, so I had people to commiserate with.  I was still enjoying my classes, I just also was in a state of mental overexertion and discomfort.  However, they did give us a much appreciated afternoon off in order to rest, due to the customary late-night prayers said before and after Rosh HaShana.

I did try a couple of new classes this week.  I switched to "Confronting Modernity", which is a class in which the teacher mostly guides the discussion and lets the students talk.  That should be reliably interesting.  I also joined a class about women's obligations and lack thereof, which is mostly just information instead of philosophical discussion.  I chose that one because I've had the "women in the torah" philosophical discussions so many times that I just wanted information that I could mull over by myself, "uncontroversially".  The other class I switched into was the drama class!  I'm so glad I decided to, even hough I'm giving up a class on Holocaust Studies, because I think it will really help me let off some steam.  The class I was in worked on charade-like games, becoming comfortable with each other, and then creating spontaneous tableaus of scenes in the Tanach.  It was really amusing and fun.

Now for Rosh HaShana.  I was placed by the seminary in a yishuv (basically, a big neighborhood) calle Bet El.  It was a very nice holiday.  I'll try to give you the highlights.  First of all, the seminary provided us with a bus for transportation, which ended up being a huge blessing, because travel before Rosh HaShana is insane, and everyone who wasn't going to Bet El was frantically trying to reach their destinations from early friday morning.  But not us!  A friend and I stayed with a South African family, who had two sets of twins and two younger children.  Yes, that's six kids.  Once we got used to the insanity, we really enjoyed ourselves.  The family was a little more religious than me, but for the high holidays it was a nice atmosphere to be in.  The yishuv is so cute - they have their own little zoo and a pond, and a bunch of different schools.  It was really very pleasant to be there.  And I got a nice mix of spirituality and rest.  I did come across a certain revelation that has helped put my mind at rest.  You have to understand that being in a seminary involves thinking about priorities quite a lot.  And recently, I was getting uncomfortable constantly scrutinizing myself.  So here's what I realized:  Judaism is there to guide me.  And God wants me to be happy.  Keeping that in mind, I can work toward growth in areas that give me fulfillment, for example, treating others with respect, or appreciating everything you have, while simply putting aside, at least temporarily, parts of Judaism that make me feel uncomfortable.  It's a little hard to explain in words, but if anyone wants clarification I'd be happy to do so.

So, my new goal is to appreciate everything around me.  Sounds simple but impossible, right?  It is.  But I'm going to work on it.  Today is a fast day because of Gedalyah, a leader of the Jews in Jerusalem, who was killed by non-Jews and Jews together.  So we mourn for him and for the ideology that was lost on those who killed him.  Because of this, though, we only had a half day of classes, and now I get to sleep and rest for a whole afternoon.  So that's the plan.  Shana Tova UMitukah! I wish you a sweet and happy year!!

Anywhere in Israel, among other exciting things

Hello, everyone.  Happy almost Rosh HaShana!

I have a few stories to tell you and I'll have to see if I can remember everything, because each week here is so intense right now.

First of all, learning is still going strong.  I thought it would be harder since the classes wouldn't be as exciting, but the material is still new and the teachers here are really fantastic.  I am finding myself getting slightly dependent on coffee, though.  It's amazing to have a year all to myself, but I feel as if I have so many priorities, it's hard to keep up.  I have my learning, my fitness, my eating (which I still have to do sometimes), my music (which includes planning choir), and keeping up with people at home.  It doesn't sound like too much to handle, but when nine and a half hours of your day are taken up with the learning part, it is a lot.

Choir is almost underway, it seems as if we'll have about 25 members, but everyone is very competition oriented, so I have to cater to desire to be competitive, and not just sing for fun.

This week we had roommate-discussion time, where each room had to talk about the roommates individual needs and certain rules that should be set up.  My room didn't really have to talk at all, we all get along well (this includes me, Karen, Rena, Nikki, and Tamara - just FYI), have similar living habits, and respect each other.  I'm really glad that's working out.

Then, the next day we had an information session about the Sukkot break - which I really need to plan, because I can essentially go anywhere, as long as I tell them where.  At the end of that session, the head of the seminary gets up and says, "Oh, by the way, you're going to the beach today."  We were all shocked!  So they took us to the beach for the afternoon, and then we had a picnic dinner at the park.  It was adorable.  We hung out, we sang, we went in the beautiful Mediterranean water.  I really enjoyed myself.

This Shabbat, I went with three friends (Ariella and Safira from Baltimore, and Stacey from Queens) to a town called Maleh Adumim, using a program called Anywhere in Israel.  You call them and tell them how many people you have, and they place you somewhere for Shabbat.  We were in a fully functional basement apartment of a young family, but we were really on our own.  At least it was mostly functional - we did have to manually fill the toilet tanks, and there wasn't any hot water - but it was still amazing.  We decided to bring our own Friday night meal, by getting takeout before we left.  So Friday night, we went to a Carlebach synagogue, where they sing the entire Kabbalat Shabbat (the prayer service welcoming in Shabbat), and that was gorgeous.  Then we slowly walked back and made our own Shabbat meal, talked until late at night, and slept four of us in two twin beds smushed together.  It was quite an adventure. 

On Saturday, we went to a Midreshet HaRova alumna's apartment, where she lived with her husband, for lunch.  They were a very sweet, welcoming, young couple (who also, of course, liked to sing), and we loved asking her questions about her experience here.  Also, her food was delicious.  We then walked back to take a nap and read, and then went to a teacher's house for dinner.  The whole thing was really enjoyable, and I got to know the girls I was with well, and they got to know me.

We're now entering a time of self-reflection, because of the high holidays.  It will definitely be intense, but I'm looking forward to it.  Speaking of which, I have midnight prayer services to go to, in preparation for Rosh HaShana.  I definitely won't do it all week, but I figured I could try the first night, at least.  Speak to you all soon!  If not before this weekend, have a happy new year!

Love,

Gabriella

The Bus, The Drive, and The Jasmine: My First "Out" Shabbat

Get ready for a typical "How the Heck Am I Supposed to Travel When I Can't Even Speak the Language?!" story.

  Since I have no close relatives in Israel, I decided to stay with a friend for the first Shabbat outside of the Midrasha.  All I know is that Meira knows a family who's father knows her father through science research, they live on a Moshav (a secluded community with its own school, synagogue, park, townhouse...), and they'd love to have her bring a friend for Shabbat.  It's not ideal, but I trust Meira (she's a friend I knew previously from New England Jewish youth groups), so I decided it was a good deal.

  

  We're told to get on Bus 277 across the street from the Tachana HaMerkazit (the Central Bus Station in Jerusalem).  It turns out that the stop is actually on a side street near the Tachana.  Across the street, cross street, what do we know, right?  So, yeah, we totally missed the bus.  But not before rushing around looking for it for an hour or so.

  Ok, so now we're trying to find another way there, because the buses stop after a certain time on Friday because of Shabbat.  So we find a Sheirut (a large, van-cab in which the cost is split by all of the passengers) that's heading toward Tel Aviv, and passes by the Moshav we're supposed to go to.  The first Sheirut driver absolutely refuses to stop on the way so that we can get picked up, and the second driver can't understand why we'd rather take his Sheirut, which leaves after the one with the stubborn driver.  Still following?  Ok, so then we're sort of panicking, and the Big Sheirut Boss comes over and starts yelling at the Sheirut drivers.  We have no idea what's going on (although now that other people are yelling at each other, the whole thing seems a lot funnier), but soon enough, The Boss is guiding us across the street to another Sheirut with only one other passenger, whose driver will drop us off on the way to Tel Aviv.

  There's one man in the passenger seat...we figure he's a tag-along friend of the driver.  Or so it seemed.  Turns out, he is a Russian man who was trying to speak English to the Israeli because he knew English better than Hebrew.  Apparently, the man is expecting the driver to pick up his family and his luggage.  So we make a huge circle for no reason to get back to the place where his family is, and pick them all up: a baby, a grandma, two toddlers, a middle-aged woman, and two young adults. Yay!  So then it's a smooth ride for about half an hour, when the driver tells us we'll be there in a minute.  In a minute, we're in the middle of a highway ramp, where a big block of cement appears to be our drop off.  A block of cement, no signs...we get off in confusion and forget to pay, then quickly hand the driver money before the honking cars get rowdy.  Five minutes later, after being laughed at by a bunch of passers-by, Meira's family friend picks us up, and soon enough we're at the Moshav.

  Now, I have to somehow describe the beauty of the Moshav to you.  The houses are all very clean looking, but not in a whitewashed way, like in America.  They're beautifully simple.  The Albak's house has bushes of jasmine in the front yard.  For some reason, that stood out to me the most.  Every time I went outside, to go to services or to take a walk, the first thing I noticed was the smell of jasmine.  It was like a fairy tale.  We spent Shabbat with the Albak's, their son, their daughter in University, and their grown son with his wife and baby daughter.  What a beautiful, intelligent family.  And they spoke English incredibly well, lucky for us!  On Saturday afternoon, Meira and I took a walk up a hill, on a path dedicated to a teenager of the Moshav who fell during the 2nd Lebanon War.  That was an experience in of itself.  There was a light breeze, and the sun was setting as we reached the top (it was only a five minute walk).  It was just a low hill, and yet we were struck by the different landscapes we saw just from our viewpoint: we could see the farmland of the Moshav, cultivated by the few in the Moshav who actually farm for an occupation, we could see the glowing houses of the Moshav, and children playing in the park, and in the distance we could see misty outlines of the city.  It was incredible.

________________

  It's difficult for me to transition, now, to telling you about starting the week, but I suppose that is kind of representative of how it felt.  Difficult, but necessary, with a hint of curiosity as to how this second week would go.  So far, so good.  First day of the week went by quickly, and I even gave a little speech for an assignment I volunteered for (in our Methodology class, each week, four girls give a short speech so that we can observe and critique technique) and it went well!  Apparently, I was very clear with my points, and I was engaging, but I could use a few more examples and talk slower.  In case you were wondering.

  Tonight, we were assigned different teachers' houses to visit.  I was lucky enough to visit my favorite (so far) Rabbi's house - Rav Yonatan.  He's such a nice man, and yet he challenges his students at the same time.  He already has six children, but he and his wife decided to be foster parents to an Ethiopian baby.  She's three months old and she's been with them since she was ten days old.  It's very inspiring to see people giving so much of themselves just to help a poor child and to contribute what they can to society.  She's a beautiful baby, and I imagine it will be very difficult for their family when they have to give her back.  It just struck me as an incredible sacrifice.  And these are the types of people I'm lucky enough to learn from this year.

  Tomorrow we have our first choir meeting - I am, in fact, one of the co-directors.  We'll see how that goes, especially because we'll have to decide on songs to arrange for the competition, which is in January.  If all goes well, we'll be starting practices next Sunday!

  Once again, I've written more than I meant to.  I guess it's a testimony to the depth of experience here - there are so many different things to talk about!  Now, it's time for sleep so that I can wake up early to exercise.  Sometimes I think I'm certifiably crazy.  Goodnight!

Gabriella

22 Classes and 8 Study Sessions Later...

Wow, that's thirty classes. I did not comprehend the intensity of that until just now, when I counted it out. Just to bring you into my current atmosphere, I am now sitting in what is known as "the square"...literally a square of cobblestone, with benches where seminary and yeshiva people gather to utilize the wifi connection. It's a pretty hysterical combination of a social and an antisocial scene.

So I have an array of interesting and exciting classes to tell you about. As the title implies, though, it would take a little bit too much time to tell you about all of them, so I'll just talk about the more thrilling ones. And they really are thrilling. It's so different to be learning by choice, and for no reason but to gain knowledge, skills, and inspiration. No grades!!! That's probably my favorite part. Firstly, the morning, textual classes. One class's intention is purely to know where to find events in all of the Torah. To know when events occurred, and where to find them in the text. Every week we'll learn another six chapters, and be tested (without a grade!!) on what we've learned so far, cumulatively. Another is to learn in depth a specific book of the Five Books. Really, I've been doing this since high school. But here, I'm on my own until the end of the class when we have a discussion (in Hebrew)! It's very gratifying. I've elected to take all of my morning classes in Hebrew, as well as a few others, and I speak Hebrew to Israelis as often as possible. I really want to improve. LiHitshapeir. To improve. See, you can learn it too!

The next class that was truly invigorating was part of Educational Leadership Program. Can a class be invigorating? Well, I think it was. Part of the way through the class, girls from the southern hemisphere, who have already been taking the classes for half a year, burst into the class and took over. It was an elaborate skit in which there was a teacher, a TA, and briefly a principal. We, the students, remained students, but were quickly given slips of paper describing what type of student we were. This seemingly impromptu skit continued for about thirty minutes, and after we all finally broke character we had a discussion about everything that (intentionally) went wrong. It was hysterical. And educational. All of my teachers have great senses of humor. Or "humour" as some of my friends from England would write. I also signed up for volunteer work, where I will be part of a choir made up of girls from different seminaries. We'll be entertaining and performing for people who need cheering up badly, or who just can't afford it. We also just started organizing the HaRova choir to compete in the seminary competition. I'm going to be one of four directors, and others will also help with the arranging and organization.

One extremely energetic and intellectual class was one I took just yesterday, right as I was about to fall asleep. I wasn't tired for long, though. The teacher likes to move around. A lot. Chairs are no obstacle. If he thinks of something, he may even briefly stand up on a table. It's ridiculous, amusing, and engaging. But about the class itself. It's essentially analyzing chapters of Psalms as literary works. Using parallel structure to find deeper and more specific meaning, etc. It's really fascinating. Beyond all of these classes and about fifteen others, I spend two hours a night reviewing material and learning texts and material of my choice. I began by reading the book of Samuel, since I haven't learned that since about fifth grade. I decided to abandon texts, though, as I am already doing so much of that type of learning, and instead read the essays of a Rabbi on how to find deeper meaning in prayer. I've been finding my own inspiration in prayer recently, especially in such a holy city, so I'm interested in reading others' thoughts on it as well.

Tomorrow I'm meeting up with friends from high school, which is exciting. Even though the girls here are great, it's nice to see people who aren't still getting to know me. This Shabbat, I'm staying at a friend's family friend's house right outside of Tel Aviv. It should be quite different from the Old City! And it's important to take a break from the learning so that I can do it all again next week! And the week after that, and the week after that...

I can't wait! Well, actually, since I just finished my week, I could wait a little. But I'm still excited to gain everything I can from my year here. Next time, I won't have to write as much introduction to my life here, since I won't be experiencing as much of an introduction to my life here. Don't worry, I won't be telling you about everything I'm learning each week.

Oh, I forgot something! This morning I went to the Kotel to pray. The air was still cool, but it was sunny. There was some American celebration going on, and everyone was so excited to be there! Then, as I was in the middle of praying, someone from the men's side blew a shofar so purely, it seemed divine. It was beautiful. Then I finished in silence, and backed away from the Wall. I always feel as if I can almost envision my prayers travelling up the wall, which, from the point of view of one standing at the base of it, seems to go straight on until heaven.

There's something amazing about being here that I'm accustomed to. I can't put a finger on it, but I hope I don't get used to it. I have learned the coffee shop's morning employee's name, though. I have no doubt he'll start to know what to get me before I even enter the cafe, before long! Anyways, I do have the time to write, but that doesn't mean I'm not exhausted as I'm typing. So, until next time!

Gabriella